Cleanse – Day 1 of 10

I am through my first full day of the cleanse. It has been an interesting day. To kick things off, I made my liquid meal concoction and it is absolutely awful. I’m supposed to drink 6-12 glasses of that stuff each day, and I don’t think I made it through 4. I think I’m going to modify it tomorrow so that it is a little easier to drink. The recipe calls for some Cayenne Pepper and that stuff just burns. So I’m going to try cutting that amount in 1/2 and seeing if that makes it easier to swallow.

I have wanted to eat everything today. I was watching Conan and remembered the Chicken Sandwich that was on his “Christmas Stage” and I couldn’t stop thinking about what it would taste like. At this point, I feel like I could even eat Indian food (which I absolutely abhor).

But I don’t feel tired or weak at all. My energy is normal and I physically feel fine, my mouth just becomes an ocean of saliva every time I see a fast food commercial.

I think it’s interesting how much I crave food for satisfaction. It’s not that I crave food for nourishment because if that was it, I would be a lot healthier. I really do crave it as a part of some physical satisfaction and I think that is going to be the most difficult thing to overcome.

The kicker for tonight was the second part of my cleanse, which is the Salt Water Cleanse. This is the element that is really supposed to clean everything out. Talk about disgusting. It’s 1 Liter of warm water with 1 teaspoon of unrefined sea salt. My gag reflex has never worked harder. You have to take it down all at once or you can’t finish it. I’ll admit that for about every gulp I took, I spilled almost as much down the sides of my mouth. My plan is to do the Salt Water Cleanse 2 more times on Day 4 and Day 8.

I hope this gets easier. I’m looking forward to seeing how I feel tomorrow and if I can figure out a better form of the recipe. Nevertheless, 1 down and 9 to go!

the days are full

i feel like i’ve been going crazy lately with so many things. it’s a good crazy because it keeps me busy and i’m productive. but it’s a crazy none the less. some cool things on the horizon:

- MOTC company changes that are going to be awesome. extremely awesome.

- New Merch project in the works for a great artist DANYEW with my friend Aaron. It’ll be neat. (I want to use the word “neat” in place of cool more often)

- “Purrrform” blog stuff is moving but waiting for the powers that be to approve it. Lame but a necessary process.

- Saturday Night service stuff is progressing really well. I’m really excited about it.

- Kt and I are going to be recording some of our Hymns and Hymn arrangements with some great friends. It will also be very neat.

- Kt’s music is moving along. Saving up some cash so that we can get her in the studio for an all out EP.

- College Care group is there. I think we’re making some headway but it’s just a long process.

- My parents are coming in town TOMORROW! It’s the first time in a year that my parents will have seen Kt. So they missed the whole pregnancy thing (…wait for it…).

- My birthday is this Saturday.

All very neat things.

too sensitive

sometimes i can be way too sensitive. i let people influence my mood way too much. i can be feeling great about myself, confident in everything i do, and feel like i have friends who really encourage me. but then i get 1 weird look or hear a not so great comment (it could even just be from a random person) and suddenly i’m not so happy, i’m not so confident, and i start to question myself. i wonder if who i am and what i’m doing really matters all that much to people or sometimes, even to myself.

so much of what i see in myself depends on what the people around me see. how i feel about myself depends on how other people feel about me. that’s such a fragile state and i really hate that i give people that much power over me.

it’s not fair to me but it’s not fair to those around me either. they are as human as i am and i have to allow them to make mistakes too.

i didn’t really have a purpose behind this other than just to say some of these things “out loud”.

temptations

here’s another email from our pastor where he expands on the sermon he gave on sunday. i love it.

Dear GP family,

This past Sunday I titled my sermon, Lent: An Oppurtunity For Holiness. Our scripture text was Mark’s account of the temptation of Christ in the wilderness (Mark 1:9-15). For centuries the Christian Church has used this event from the life of Jesus as inspiration for our forty days of preparation prior to Easter.

In the sermon, I spent some time focusing on the specific temptations posed by the devil to Jesus, and how this sensational story might apply to our lives. What I didn’t mention but think is also helpful to remind ourselves of, is a very important truism regarding the nature of temptation in general. And that is that temptation generally comes by stealth and disguise; it is seldom obvious. I think we are misled when we see this encounter in the Judean wilderness in Hollywood form, with Jesus and a yellow-eyed, sulphurous breathed Satan in a cartoonish clash of the Titans.

It is highly more likely that this wrestling match was an invisible, yet no less real or devilish, struggle within Christ’s mind. Jesus was, for forty days, wrestling with the will of God, repeatedly facing three alternative paths which all seemed to lead to good destinations. There was immense room for rationalization, room for Jesus to convince Himself that these three options were justifiable, even desirable. And yet, In His deepest parts, He knew these avenues were not the Father’s plan. So, wrestle with evil He did, in the form of three apparently excellent offers.

When looked at this way, Christ’s forty day struggle in the desert is much more applicable to our lives. If evil came to us in the visible form of a ghoulish fiend we would all have the sense to run. But it doesn’t. Life’s most pivotal moments of decision come clandestine, so benign that they often slip past our defenses. Generally, temptation doesn’t involve abject immorality as it’s bait, rather it focuses on good results achieved in damaging ways. Christ’s most formidable temptation was to take shortcuts to good ends. Most of our temptations are the same.

Turn stones to bread. In a world filled with desperately hungry people, why not? Jump from the parapet of the temple and be caught by angels. In a world longing to believe in a caring God, why not display that care in a dramatic way? Immediately assume the rule of all the kingdoms of men. In a world full of genocide, oppression, slavery and war, WHY NOT? The answer(s) to those three ”why nots” required committed soul work. And that’s just what Jesus did.

Jesus temptations, though, did not end in the wilderness. Later his well-intentioned disciples would implore Him to ”avoid the cross.” And then there was Gethsemane where He wrestled with the reality that He possessed the ability to opt out of the Father’s plan at any time. And yet He knew the painful, human process was the only way. He refused to use the ”power of the Spirit,” choosing instead the path of service.

To arrive at that place, Jesus had to meet and faithfully process deep temptation on multiple occasions. To live successful, healthy lives we must follow His example, recognizing the subtle ways darkness presents itself, realizing, as did He, that the battle is within us. Justification, rationalization, slight compromises, hedging, white lies, convenient deafness – all of these are the temptor’s weapons.

Sometimes I think it would be a lot easier if the battle were more blatant, but the fact that it’s not is half the strategy. The battleground is in our minds. Don’t be fooled into looking for the gross and sensational. Instead be wary of the nuanced and subtle ways evil lures us. And finally, don’t be afraid… our hope of victory rests in Christ’s strength and example. I hope we will all spend this Lenten season opening our lives, possibly as never before, to that strength and to that example.

Peace,
Stan

my new favorite sandwich

i decided to go to panera bread for lunch today.  i had some work i needed to catch up on and i didn’t want to stay in the house.  a deli sandwich is one of my favorite foods so i always freek out a little when i go to panera because there are so many great options.  today i wanted to try something new.  i saw the mediterranean veggie sandwich on display and i think i also saw a spot light come on, the house lights drop, and heard the quiet fluttering of angel wings.  it was decided and i found my new favorite sandwich.